Saturday, June 26, 2010

Number 2.

Most people like to associate themselves with the number 1. I mean, yeah, the number 1 does portray leadership and whatnot. But to me, I believe the number TWO has more meaning in my life.

I have never been a winner.

However, I truly I won something great in these past TWO years -- memories, priceless, memories. When I entered college, I did not have the intention to get-to-know other people. I knew it was important. But, I supposed after losing friends and my heart in pieces, I really did not want to get involve in other peoples' lives.

The first year went uneventful. Day after day, I went by unnoticed.

Year number TWO took a turn. At the time, I did not noticed it. But now, looking back, I can clearly see the chain reactions that took place in my second year in college. Its funny actually how one event leads to the other without me even noticing it. But that is how life goes, right? Unpredictable yet fun.

Doing charity, Joining dances, Working together to organize an event, acting, editing, taking pictured, dating, watching a lot of movies in cinema, hanging out...

But the one thing I did not expect at all was getting a girlfriend.

In my whole life, I only like TWO girls. The first girl that I liked was a sad, one-sided thing. But the second girl... well.....

It was during my Fall semester in 2009. I did have a crush on a girl. I mean, she was very cute and all. But, I did not want to complicate matters by asking her out on a date. Besides, she already had a boyfriend at that time. So, my feelings for her faded. But, out of the blue, she asked me out. I took a chance, said yes, and that was the beginning of something incredible.

Soon, after a few more dates, she became my girlfriend and I became her boyfriend. Honestly, to this day, I still can't believe a cute girl like her became my girlfriend.

Fast forward a little and it is the end of my last semester, Summer 2010.

When I first started my Summer 2010 semester, I said to myself I wanted to go all out and make this summer an unforgettable TWO months of life. Now, at the end of summer, I can safely say "Mission Accomplished". I did many things -- organizing a DotA competition, going out with my girlfriend, going to the beach, watching the sunset, acting in a 'Summer BlockBuster' ;) , going to 'Prom' (ATU Night), first time having a date for prom and even holding a girl's hand or specifically, my first ever girlfriend's hand.

As summer has ended, I realized that I might never some people ever again. When I think about it again, I find myself laughing because when I left high school, I didn't look back. I had no care, no attachment to the place nor to anyone.

But now, I do. And I feel the sadness. I feel the emptiness. It truly does not feel nice at all.

I wonder if I would ever see her again. I really miss her. But I realized that I don't have what it takes to continue this relationship. I know that she may hate me for this, but I do not want to keep on hurting her. She taught me so much and I just want her to be as happy as possible.

I don't know whether I will regret if I end this relationship but I do know that the relationship I had with her is by far the most special relationship I have had in my whole life.Even though my heart is already in pieces, I would never ever forget the time I have spent with her, for it was truly memorable. No doubt.

You may be wondering why I am talking about this particular girl all of sudden. What the connection between this girl and the title?

Well, this girl may be the SECOND girl that I liked, but she is the FIRST girl I truly loved. I just hope she can always be happy and cute, for that is all I wish for.

2 comments:

KJ said...

May this very painful yet memorable experience be a sweet one for you in your heart. Yes, life always works ironically. (I know this is yet another life crap from me.)

Do cheer up, my pal. :) Looking back is tiring and heartbroken, but it is also another form of consoling ourselves.

Go through it, Q! You can do it! :D

copy_cat said...

Hope you happy too^^